Over the past couple of days, I have come to a decision. Decision feels like too hefty a word, I have come to an understanding. I am working on a project that frankly is not unfolding at the pace I need it too. This particular project has great promise, for me and for my family, so it’s success is at the center of my thoughts. But I have realized over the course of the past several weeks that this project cannot be rushed. In fact, it will grow, and be awesome, but must be allowed to do so in its own way.
In the past, such a surrender would have sunk me. Surrendering my hopes and dreams, expectations and timelines because someone else, something else was infringing on my plan, timeline, safety, wellness, felt devastating. Because it was. But because of the lessons learned from divorce, from family traumas, and from cancer, I am beginning to learn a new secret, a beautiful truth about such obstructions in our life. When we step aside, and let them go, the obstructions pass by us with far less maiming AND, here is the best part, we can still get what we need, want, dreamed of. Though the story may need some re-writing, and the form of those original dreams may take new shapes, in the end we still have a say in our dreams. We still get to work to create the best outcomes for our family considering our circumstances. We are still alive and free.
So while I know there are still wall-crawling, tear-flooding frustrations to come in life, for now, with this one, I have faith and peace that as I step to the side, and let this one go, in the end it will all come together in a beautiful flourish of dreams achieved.